I won't do it

The heart wants what it wants

And what it wants is a cigarette

Take yourself out for a walk, to take your mind off it

Turn the corner and hear the seagul honk

Wach wach wach wach

As it disappears into this blue mist

But I can see lilac in it

You'd been so good not smoking

Even forgot what it was like to miss it

But now you've smoked too much weed

Every night

And you've been going out a lot at night

And drinking and y'know

"I only smoke when I drink" and that you do

But you find yourself in waking hours now craving a toke

And it isn't enough to just ignore it, distract yourself 

Because in half an hour it'll just come

Back again

So what's the point?

Go on. Have a smoke

Should of brung one for the walk

You know it'd of made it better

More cosy, and relaxing

But I guess if you were smoking

You wouldn't of been typing

Which you never do anyway

Tell yourself "I'll do the poems"

Fill up that pretty book of yours

Where are these profound thoughts you were meant to have by now

Those interesting insights

What have you really for to comment on?

And the answer is nothing

A very vacant empty spot between those ears, behind those big ol' eyes

Because all you really think about is nothing

Stuff not worth commenting on

Of very little interest to anyone

I'm not trying to be self depreciating

I just don't have any hobbies.

I am boring.

I'm Boring. There I've said it, I'm sorry I've mislead you for so long. Smiling and nodding at all the interesting and worthwhile things you say, pretending I know what you’re talking about. I’ve been mentally organizing my documents during this whole conversation just to cope with the overwhelming realization that when you stop talking I will literally have no response to anything you just said other than polite laughter.

And look its okay if you think I'm boring, you can stop feeling guilty now I understand. I know that my opinion isn’t very interesting to you and you’ve probably been debating whether I’m an intellectual or just dull. Due to the gradual glazing over of your eyes I suspect the latter. All of this I don’t mind I’ve accepted my blandness, but the thing that bothers me is this; why did you think I was interesting in the first place?

Perhaps you met me when I was drunk? That's the most likely reason, allow me to explain. When I drink alcohol a strange chemical reaction begins, my whole body caves in on itself and reproduces an exact replica of me. An exact replica of me who likes to go around mooning passer-bys, reveal horrifyingly personal details about herself and generally act like an idiot.

This replica has an intolerance yet unquestionable love for booze. She also finds it quite difficult to focus her gaze or use her inside voice. My replica once ate a whole packet of ham for no reason at all. But despite all of this she can be a heck of a lot of fun. Sadly she is just a mere apparition, a fleeting ghost which tricks you into thinking that you may have found an exciting new friend. Once back at home and into bed she'll wake up in the morning back inside my stomach and I'd have returned, dull and uninteresting as ever although perhaps slightly more nauseous.

 

That’s about as good as our friendship is going to get and believe me I'm not much of a drinker. Please don't start pitying me by this point, I'm happy, I have friends, they're just as dull as I am. We have parties where we all gather around mugs of green tea and discuss world events, its wild. So yes feel free to make your excuses and leave this excruciatingly awkward conversation.

And well, if I’m going to be totally honest I would really much prefer you did. It’s not that I don’t think you’re a wonderful person it’s just I’d rather not be talking about the last time you had sexual intercourse and all the different aromas that followed suit, it’s highly inappropriate. And look let’s face it you’ve spent this whole time on your phone anyway which, by the way, is incredibly bad mannered of you.

I mean how often do you really need to text someone? It’s absurd! What could you possibly be talking about?! Probably about how awful your new hair cut is, there I said it. What the bloody hell is an undercut anyway it’s ridiculous; as soon as a large gush of wind comes along everyone will know that half of your head is bald. And my lord how much make up do you wear to match it, do you pile it on with a trowel or something?!

I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m being rude and highly personal, your horrendous choices in how you present yourself shouldn't affect my opinion on your personality. Let’s go our separate ways so as to not leave this fleeting, brief and badly chosen acquaintance-ship on bitter terms. Perhaps one day we shall bump into each other, exchange smiles and reminisce of the times where we would both sit together in silence sweating over what to say to each other. So au revior! Adieu, ciao and auf wiedersehen, let’s just go back to our separate lives and leave it at that.

You uncultured pig.

Oopsie...

I'm very sorry I haven't posted anything for a while, I just moved to London for University and things have been a little unsettling and hectic but things are finally starting to calm down enough so I can remind myself to blog (among other many many things, I didn't realise being independent meant you had to remember so much stuff! I feel very bad for all the times I've gotten angry at my mum for forgetting something now).

I've bought an embarrassingly expensive amount of clothes since I've been here but I'm justifying myself with the fact that I' m going through one of those phases that all previous outfit ideas disgust me thus I need a wardrobe overhaul. I've made quite a bit of progression to say the least, pictures of the new beautiful clothes shall commence soon. for now look at this lovely picture of me as a fairy for my fancy dress ball last Friday. I was so ridiculously glittery I'm still covered in glitter every time I get out of bed.

Well I'm here! University doesn't feel like a new home more so a slightly grubby holiday. I've been living off soup, green tea and wine which isn't the best combination but we'll make do.

This is me right now in a very very smarty smarty shirt. I'm off to a job interview and I will not let this hangover ruin it.

ciao x

Landan.

Bonjour!

Here I am dressed all pretty for going out with my family for a meal.

 I'm off to University tomorrow eep! I'll be living in London which will be a huge change from my home nestled right in the country. (and away from everything, sometimes nice, sometimes not)

I've talked to a few people from my halls already, but considering how terrible I am with faces and my utter awkwardness around people (it's not cute shy awkward, I get really urrrrr...erratic, think Father Ted when he has to deal with the Bishop.) But hopefully I'll keep myself composed enough to make friends.

Sam's at Bestival at the moment (which I'm super super jealous about) but we got to have a nice meal at a Mexican restaurant called Escondidos on Wednesday since that's the last time we'll see each other for (maybe) a while. I tried to take a nice pretty couple picture...

 ...but I wasn't feeling it. We also met this dog in a pub look how fun it is!

Anyway I best be going now, next time I'll speak to you I'll be up in London! Bysey Bye x

I went to a "Garage Safari" on Sunday with my parents and Sam. If you don't know what a garage safari is it's basically like you get a map and go around the village and loads of people have garage sales on for you to rummage through. It was pretty fun, though my haggling isn't very good so I just sound rude.
I did manage to find some pretty lovely things like this bag:

I've needed one for ages and it was just lying there in this woman's garden, calling to me.

I got these shoes and a velvet blue skirt (which I'll post later) both for 50p which I was pretty chuffed about however my best deal of the day has to be the jewelry I picked up.

The brooch of the woman is definitely my favorite, the photo doesn't show it too well but there are small gems in the flowers and the basket she's holding it's really lovely. I found all these on this one table just filled with gorgeous jewelry and when they said they were 20p each I think my jaw literally dropped.

Sam found "Wish You Were Here" and the Ziggy Stardust record for his vinyl player along with Beethoven's 9th. We got to go into this ladies house to look through her record collection, her house smelt like cooked onions.

It was lovely.

Welcome Post.

Hihihi. So this is going to be my more personal blog since I really only use tumblr to reblog funny cat pictures and other silly things and I'd like to start creating something a little more personal about my life. My biggest problem shall be updating but I'm terrible at being responsive anyway so it's something to work with.
So yes time for dozy blogging time.